Friday, March 4, 2011

Husband for hire, three month terms.

Some time ago, I wrote a post about how much I would suck at single parenting.

Well, the time has come to eat my words.

No, no, it's ok, the Winemaker and I have not split up. It's just vintage has rolled around again and we are back to him working 13-hour days, six days a week, and being a big fat pain in the neck the rest of the time.

I'm not blaming him for the abovementioned pain-in-the-neckness. Hell, I would be a bitch on wheels if I worked those hours (no comments from those of you who know me in real life, thanks).

It's just that with two whiny kids around bedtime, I don't really need a whiny adult as well. (Last night, he lost his cool because the water temperature was still set for the kids' bath/shower and hadn't been reset to a hot enough for doing the dishes. Seriously?).

While I have absolute sympathy for the people I know whose spouses work away a lot, at this time of year I almost envy them.

My life would be much simpler if the Winemaker would just stay at the winery for the duration of vintage.

I love him, I truly do. And the fact that the next couple of months is a nightmare, is made somewhat more bearable by the knowledge that winemaking is a pretty flexible career for nine months of the year.

So ... do I have a deal for you?

One husband available for three months hire. He won't fix your car, or mow the lawn, or take the rubbish out, or cook dinner, or pick up after himself, or keep the kids occupied, or even have sex.

He will, however, get under your feet, mess up your routine, yell obscenities at inanimate objects that don't work and fall asleep on the couch at 8pm each night.

Any takers?

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