Friday, May 27, 2011

Plastic fantastic?

I am becoming increasingly sure that somewhere in my house there is another dimension where plastic shit breeds.

Otherwise, how can you explain the proliferation around the house of those dinky toys you get in fast food outlets?

I'm sure my kids haven't been to [insert name of whatever chain takes your fancy when it comes to plastic toys - and food] a kabillion times, so how come we seem to have a kabillion useless little toys?

They get under your feet, get sucked up the vacuum cleaner. You find them behind the couch and deep in the linen of the gown-ups' bed. They're inside the house and out, and the more you throw the more take their place.

We have Ben 10 figurines, characters from Rio and Night at the Museum. We have Stawberry Shortcakes, Australian Idol "iPods" and strange, unidentifyable objects that not even the seven year old can explain.

It's like an episode of Twilight zone.

And don't even get me started on Kinder (f-ing) Surprise.


  1. I love Kinder Surprise. I've never seen them here, so unless we're in Europe, Jordan will never know the delights of them.

    The idea of plastic crap breeding somewhere secret in your house is totally funny. I picture furtive toy sex in the corners, behind the chairs, under the dirty laundry...

  2. I think Kinder Surprise is banned in the States due to the choking risk. Eminently sensible as far as I'm concerned (the toys are so fiddly and small and frustrate the kids when they fall apart yet again)